ABC/KELSEY McNEAL

Wait, Kathy Ireland was on this show? What the heck is Tom DeLay doing here?!

Oh right, the Dancing With the Stars finale is when a whole season's worth of contestants come out of the woodwork and remind the viewers just how right they were in casting these folks aside long ago.

With that behind them, Donny Osmond, Kelly Osbourne and Mya gathered tonight for one last spin around the floor and awaited to hear who would be bringing the illustrious disco-ball trophy home for good.

Kelly danced the Viennese waltz more gracefully than ever; Mya brought new sharpness and confidence to her and Dmitry Chaplin's nerd-meets-seductress jive; and Donny performed his Argentine-tango ass off, somehow managing to look intense but not hammy.

But, as Len Goodman said earlier, "There can be only one."

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From Argentine tango to Viennese waltz, the final round of Dancing With the Stars had a little bit of everything.

Finalists Mya, Kelly Osbourne and Donny Osmond danced three times apiece on night one of the ABC hit's two-part finale, which will culminate tomorrow with one of these endearing celebs being crowned queen or king of the ballroom.

Though neither Donny nor Mya has ever been in the bottom two (or three) and Kelly and her can-do attitude have obviously developed quite the following, voters' loyalties may well have shifted during the course of the evening, thanks to the hit-and-miss nature of the routines.

We always expect the anything-goes freestyles to be especially exciting...so perhaps that's why we're even more let down when they fail.

But we're getting ahead of ourselves. First came a Latin round. Then they did a group mega-mix, in which all three couples performed the same Viennese waltz, samba and jive choreography simultaneously.

We broke it all down for you:

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They've jived and jitterbugged, waltzed and rumba'd—all with an eye on lifting the disco-ball trophy on next week's season finale of Dancing With the Stars.

Mya and her "tutti-frutti booty" distanced herself from the pack Monday, scorewise, while Donny Osmond suffered an early stumble that left him playing catch-up all night. Making up the middle of the pack were Joanna Krupa, who's handled Derek Hough's standout choreography like a champ, and Kelly Osbourne, whose biggest competitive hurdle all season has been her own nerves.

Though it's hard to believe any of them had time to rehearse, what with all the sound bites they're expected to provide and David Bowie impressions they must do.

But tonight, after a dance sequence from Nine and performances by Leona Lewis, Alicia Keys and the Bee Gees, the competition was eventually whittled down to three finalists.

By the will of the people, who obviously love an underdog...

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Serious stuff, these semifinals.

Donny Osmond, Joanna Krupa, Kelly Osbourne and Mya marched into the ballroom tonight knowing they had three dances ahead of them and little room for error if they wanted to be center stage on next week's finale.

First, each did a ballroom number, then a Latin dance containing a 15-second solo and finally the dance each couple had to prepare a few weeks ago in case they were forced into a results show dance-off.

So that's why Donny needed a sparkly green jacket!

Overall, we saw many impressive moves, some sharp hip action and a lot of energy, and any three of the four deserve a spot in the final (based on talent and/or personality). 

Then again, you be the judge...

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ABC/ADAM LARKEY

Perfection paid off for Mya.

As expected, the R&B songstress was voted into next week's semifinals on Dancing With the Stars.

But which three of her fellow celebs were given passage to join her?

As musical guest Susan Boyle knows, being the favorite doesn't necessarily mean you're going to go all the way.

For instance, the fans have been loving Donny Osmond all season, but their last glimpse of him had him looking like a Rocky Horror Picture Show reject.

Aaron Carter has smoothed over most of his initial kinks but had to dance for his life last week. Kelly Osbourne has regained her confidence, but do the voters still have faith in her moves?

Meanwhile, though Joanna Krupa galloped through her quickstep, Derek Hough's impressive choreography made their futuristic paso doble encore worthy in the judges' eyes.

But was it semifinal material?

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The ninth season of Dancing With the Stars is almost over, and there had been no perfect 30s heading into tonight's show, with likely candidate Mya running week after week into Len Goodman's puritanical naysaying.

With a spot in next week's semifinals on the line, the remaining five contestants were tasked with two complete solo routines apiece—one ballroom number and one decade-specific(?) Latin dance. 

And though they know full well that a top-notch critique from the judges doesn't necessarily equal clout with the voters at home, each still came in hoping to knock Bruno Tonioli's silk socks off.

Mya kicked off the ballroom round...

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OK, we understand Mark Ballas and Derek Hough are totally into the whole music thing.

But they must know that we know from watching Britney, Paula and other pop-music makers that, if you're doing a taxing dance routine while performing live, you're probably not doing a whole lot of actual singing.

As we said, the Ballas Hough Band made a rousing Dancing With the Stars debut. We assume their song had words under all the spectacle.

Otherwise, Tuesday's show was another of those tense affairs, with two celebs headed for the door and everyone forced to prepare a dance-off-worthy routine just in case.

So there was Donny Osmond in his green sparkly jacket and Kelly Osbourne in her hot pink and leather...

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The heat was on tonight on Dancing With the Stars as the nine remaining celebs hoofed for their lives in advance of Tuesday's double elimination.

First off was either a waltz or jitterbug, and the retro vibe continued with a Grease-style dance marathon, minus the hand jive, of course.

You could tell that Aaron Carter has been emotionally hurting from being in the bottom two, two weeks in a row, Mya is physically hurting from being tossed all over Dmitry's hunky shoulders, and Kelly Osbourne sprained her ankle last week. Melissa Joan Hart had to deal with taking a 7-point dive and Donny Osmond, poor lad, was saddled with the pressure that comes from entering the week on top.

And no one had scored a perfect 30 yet!

The contestants had no choice but to up their game or face the wrath of the increasingly contentious judges, not to mention the prospect of viewer unappreciation if they focused too much on fancy footwork and left their hearts at home.

At least there was one thing the judges could agree on—nothing.

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