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Are you glad Jon & Kate Plus 8 is over? Did you watch Jennifer Lopez fall, or see Adam Lambert get a rise out of the crowd? And why do you suddenly care about Katie Couric? 

The answers—and more questions, about Project Runway, Sarah Palin and more—in the latest TV ratings quiz:

1. So, was it goodbye or good riddance to Jon & Kate Plus 8? It sure didn't seem like the show wore out its welcome. Last night's series finale was well-attended, attracting 4.3 million viewers, TLC said, up 2 million from last week's penultimate episode. When all was said and done and repeated in the tabloids, the show remained a ratings winner, if not the scandal-boosted phenomenon of earlier in the season.

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With friends like these, who needs tabloid reporters?

Jon Gosselin is the latest victim to fall prey to Michael Lohan's seemingly ever-present recording devices, with Lindsay's father now leaking audio from a phone call earlier this year with the reality dud dad.

We'll give him this, Lohan certainly managed to get Gosselin talking during the nearly four-minute call, spouting off on his exclusivity contract with TLC, dishing on his relationships with Hailey Glassman and Kate Major, pronouncing he will not—repeat not—be "scare tactic'd," and...one more thing...what was it?

Oh, yeah. Pedophiles.

"I mean, I put my kids out there to every pedophile on the planet and they never got paid for it?" he said in the tape obtained by Radar Online. "It's disgusting."

It's disgusting all right...

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Kate Gosselin never wanted it to be this way. But since it is this way...

Having to shut down its cash cow thanks to Jon Gosselin's gripes, TLC made sure that its litigious former star ended up looking like the greater of two evils on Monday's series finale of Jon & Kate Plus 8.

"They don't know about girlfriends at all," Kate said, referring pointedly to her kids' knowledge of Jon's off-and-on significant other, Hailey Glassman.

"That's just too warped for them, too unhealthy for them to know. They're learning at this age by watching us what it's like to be an adult, and that's the last thing I want them to know. But I really just think that relationship is a situation that's just a symptom of the real issue, so…I don't envision a future there involving my kids at all."

Zing!

So while Jon talked about doing what he has to do to be friends with Kate, be a good dad and maintain his relationship with Hailey, his estranged wife was busy nipping that last part in the bud.

When they weren't busy repeating themselves for the cameras, Kate took six of the kids to an organic farm, where they petted kittens and milked cows, and everything was wholesome and lovely! Meanwhile, even raising money for firefighters, Jon just couldn't win.

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At this point, there's almost nothing we don't already know about Jon and Kate Gosselin.

He likes Ed Hardy, ticking every box off the midlife crisis checklist and demanding privacy from the paparazzi, unless of course they want to patronize his lemonade stand or capture him bringing flowers to his ex-wife. His dislikes include spell-check and Nancy Grace.

She, on the other hand, enjoys employing ghost writers to pen cookbooks on organic food, berating her personality-challenged husband and recouping hundreds of thousands of dollars that were rightfully hers to begin with. She's not such a fan of anything less than industrial-strength pomade.

This much we know.

But TLC is reminding us of a few other Gosselin truths that have gotten lost along the way in the torn-apart family's reality swan song, as Jon & Kate Plus 8 comes to its confessional- and montage-filled series end tonight.

Like, no matter how heinous you think their parents are—and at this point it is just a matter of degrees—those Plus 8 are downright adorable (and, lest we forget, the reason viewers flocked in the first place).

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Jon Gosselin came bearing gifts. He left one giant step closer to losing a wife.

The artists otherwise known as Jon & Kate met face to face at a Pennsylvania law office on Saturday for a daylong arbitration meeting to essentially put a stake in their marriage.

Sources close to TLC's former fun couple say that the Gosselins closed in on finalizing custody arrangements for the eight and the division of assets. Jon even showed up with a bouquet of roses at the start of the meeting as a symbol of his newfound commitment to make things right.

But while Kate seemed amenable to the terms of their divorce, she left sans flowers.

The final episode of Jon & Kate Plus 8 (at least as we know it) airs Monday. Their marriage could be over before the new year.

(Originally published Nov. 21, 2009, at 8:33 p.m. PT)

________

Revisit the demise of a reality-TV marriage in our Gory Gosselin Gossip gallery.

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In between fake breaking up with his girlfriend, posing with fellow infamous pop-culture trainwrecks, befriending rabbis and showing a modicum of self-awareness by promoting mocking himself in viral videos, Jon Gosselin has found time to fight back against TLC.

The former reality TV dad is countersuing the Jon and Kate Plus 8 cable net, answering their widening breach-of-contract suit against him by claiming TLC not only violated child labor laws while filming his octobrood at their Pennsylvania compound, but made him sign a totally unfair contract that severely restricted him from pimping Ed Hardy, making the entertainment news show rounds and doing whatever else it is he does to earn money these days.

Aside from alleging that the network caused him to lose business opportunities and harmed his reputation (we weren't aware he needed help on that last one), Gosselin claims in his $5 million suit that the network has also failed to make good on the promise of some cold, hard cash.

"Jon is going to court with a slingshot and is going to aim it at the eye of the monster, TLC," attorney Mark Heller told E! News.

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Jon Gosselin now believes he's a big enough celebrity to do one of those self-referential Funny or Die videos where famous people make fun of themselves and then we think they're cool for a few minutes. (See: Lindsay Lohan's eHarmony one or Paris Hilton's presidential campaign.)

It's all about what he can do to erase the mistakes he's made over the past year. Simple things like: get rid of those earrings, ditch the Ed Hardy, stop going to clubs, don't hang out with the paparazzi and delete Michael Lohan from his phone.

This is all stuff he should actually do, too. In real life. Not in a fake Internet video. So watching him pretend to stop being douchey when he's still being douchey just makes him more douchey.

Also, he probably should have just posted this on YouTube rather than asking people to vote whether he's funny or should die. That's just asking for trouble.

________

Now, to cleanse your palate, check out Taylor Swift doing her cute, sincere thing in our Big Pic gallery.

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Hailey Glassman and Michael Lohan have never met a camera they didn't like. But right about now they're probably wishing they had just kept their media-whoring mouths shut.

And if they're not, then Jon Gosselin certainly is.

TLC's pit-bull law firm has unveiled its wish list of Gosselin hangers-on to be grilled in the network's breach-of-contract suit against the octodad, and in a surprise to no one, both Glassman and Lohan are tops on their wish list.

In addition to the publicity parasites, the Washington, D.C.-based firm of Williams & Connolly wants to depose Thomas Meinelt, the paparazzo turned Gosselin bodyguard who is no doubt harboring extensive dirt on his new boss; Jon's divorce attorneys Michael and Mark Heller; and Matthew Kirschner, the rep for the "talent" that is J.Goss.

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How's Jon & Kate Minus Jon working out for TLC? Why is Kate Hudson's boyfriend spreading his wings? And did Heroes just suck you in again?

The answers—and more questions—in the latest TV ratings quiz:

1. Can Kate Gosselin compete with Jon & Kate? Yes. And she can outdo it, too. Last week's Kate-only episode, "You Ask, Kate Answers," was 50 percent bigger, audience-wise, than the previous week's joint-custody adventure.

2. What is the Centaur Effect? On Friday, Us Weekly reported that Alex Rodriguez owned two paintings of himself as a half-man, half-horse. On Sunday, the World Series, featuring Rodriguez's New York Yankees, galloped off with nearly 23 million viewers, TV's No. 1 show of the week, and the fall classic's most-watched contest in five years.

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Last night was Kate Gosselin's turn to speak and pause for dramatic effect get choked up. And because there's no way she could have the last word for more than a few hours, now it's Jon Gosselin's turn.

This time the word is "lieing." It reminds us of the time he misspelled his own name on a huge sign threatening some sort of "penelty" to trespassers at his home.

Of course, he takes a break from his current apology tour and starts today with a Twitter update that appears innocent enough. However, thanks to an extended tweet program, looks can be deceiving.

"Got up early this morning took Mady and Cara to the bus, Came home to then hug my other 6 little morsels," he begins. That's almost all you can see in the basic version but, if you dare click that ellipses-like link, you've got some of Papa G's patented spell-check-defying bitterness in store. He takes on ex-GF Hailey Glassman and then lays into Kate.

Prepare for the sweet to get increasingly salty.

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The Kate-Gosselin-Sets-It-Straight train rolled into Remorseland today.

The reality-TV star whose show has been postponed out from under her admits in her latest interview that she isn't proud of the Jon & Kate Plus 8 moments she spent berating hubby Jon Gosselin or otherwise bossing him around.

"I was very hard on him and I would never deny that," she said tonight on the TLC special Kate: Her Story. "I felt very much like a lot of weight rested on my shoulders."

"I was wrong to treat him that way," she added. "Was it good, healthy and wonderful? No. Am I proud of those moments that were captured? No."

Those moments were the ones that initially had the fans playing for Team Jon in the early days of their breakup—before new Jon reared his ugly (yet now apologetic) head.

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