The Awful Truth

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Any excuse to put up a picture of Natalie Portman is OK by us!

Nat celebrated the premiere of her new flick Brothers and looked absolutely yumma-do-me while doing it. But a little on the thin side, no? Guess that's Hollywood for ya.

Love the hair, love the makeup, love the dress. Her 'do looks classy, while the strapless mini, busty-bouquet number keeps her looking young. We forget the age of this mature Harvard alum sometimes, but we do know that that vibrant blue hue is impeccable.

One thing missing from the party was costar Jake Gyllenhaal.

Is that because he was home playing with his hair?

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Dear Ted:
Am I the only one that found it ironic when Natalie Portman basically compared eating meat to condoning rape, considering that as a signer of the Roman Polanski petition she actually is condoning rape? I like her as an actress but that kind of crap is seriously making me rethink.
—Bridget 

Dear Pissed Off Portman:
Now, I love N.P., but I'm not a fan of some of her beliefs. Obviously, the comparison exists, and it's not a great one. Maybe she should say she's sorry like I did.

Dear Ted:
I know you keep saying Tay-Tay is for publicity, but are they emotionally and physically attracted to each other? I love Tay-Tay.
—Jamie 

Dear Hopes for TaySquared:
Duh—they are horny teenagers, after all.

Dear Ted:
I am what is referred to as a "Balehead" because I am somewhat of a Christian Bale fan...OK maybe an obsessed fan! I have to know: Has Christian Bale ever been a B.V.?
—Tex  

Dear B-Brain:
So are members of Team Awful. But the answer's no. What needs to be blinded about that boy's issues? They're already out there!

Dear Ted:
OK, I get the whole I'm a young celebrity who is trying to be a badass stoner, but its totally getting old. I don't care what people think of me either but damn, Kristen Stewart, a shower and stylist wouldn't kill you. And I also get the whole hush-hush about Robert Pattinson and Kristen being together or not. She's on the big screen and if Kristen didn't want people knowing about how effed up she was, then she should have been a waitress.
—Cherry

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Dear Ted:
I couldn't agree with you more about President Obama. And while we're at it, could you please explain to me how the president of a country that is currently at war and is still torturing prisoners could possibly receive the Nobel Peace Prize?
—Amanda F., NYC

Dear I Wish:
If I were able to explain that to you, then I'd probably agree with it! Motivational, perhaps? Never thought I'd agree with the right-wing side of things, but it does seem to be more about his star power, less his benevolent soul.

Dear Ted:
How can you say Kate Gosselin is the lesser of two evils? Have you not watched the show and how much Jon was home being a stay-at-home dad while Kate was off trying to be famous? Then when she was home, degrading him every minute? It's just that she has TLC telling her how to behave now to make her look good in the public eye while Jon is being a normal human in a sad situation. She is so scripted. Even the little boo-hoos. She doesn't do it all for her kids. She's in it for herself. Give Jon some slack.
—Vmko

Dear Hailey Glassman:
Yeah, I definitely have seen how she degrades him, but at the end of the day, who is taking care of the kids while they, too, are going through a hard time? OK, the nannies, but Kate seems to be there for them a helluva lot more now than he does. Reverse the situation: Kate was the bread earner, of course she was gone. If the stay-at-home sitch was flipped from the beginning we wouldn't be having this debate, would we?

Dear Ted:
Love all that you do for animal shelters! Keep it up. I have a question about Jake Gyllenhaal. We know that he is a Blind Vice, but what I can't put my finger on is whether or not you like/respect him. What are your personal feelings about him? Good guy or do his hidden Vices make you dislike him?
—Jmp

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The Awful Truth is just as obsessed with our Blind Vices as you nosy folks are, so we decided to take a brief glimpse back at some of our fave celebs honored in our sin-celebrating section. Too fun!

Those celebs featured in our new Blind Vice Superstars gallery are top-drawer Vice subjects, every last one of 'em. And not the minor pissy supporting players, but the major starring beloved Vicers.

No, we're not outing anybody in our photo flip book, though we have in the past—Blind Vices for Teri Hatcher (Death-Mint Myrtle), David Duchovny (Sylvester Slimeball), Doug Reinhardt (Dexter Lecter) have all been revealed, along with a few other trouble-loving stars.

See? We're good sports! And one of these famous faces could be the next Blind babe we're totally willing to expose.

Don't be too cocky like ya know who each one is...There have been many hundreds of B.V.'s over the years, and these are just 25 choice celebs.

Can ya guess who's who? Happy hunting, folks! Here's to foul play!

________

Meet 25 of Hollywood's most A-list secret-keepers in our Blind Vice Superstars gallery!

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Ted Casablanca is traveling this week and mail is being tackled by Team Awful—so try us!

Dear Awful Truth:
Help me understand this. Channing Tatum, married? To a woman? Seriously?
—Tony Capuano, Toronto

Dear Believe It:
Ah, I bet you were one of skeptics who believed the fairy cake topper was actually Chan's, weren't you?

Dear Awful Truth:
We keep hearing about all the Hollywood celebrities hot for Rob Pattinson. We know that already and it's understandable, but how come we don't hear about the ones that are hot for Kristen Stewart? Surely there are many in H'wood who find her quite irresistible! She's smart, hot, very talented and drop-dead gorgeous. I'm sure there's a long line of equally hunky Hollywood men out there just waiting for Rob to make that mistake of letting her go. Are these guys just too afraid to come forward and admit it, or are they too scared of Rob?
—Potato

Dear Pattinscared:
Are you suggesting that once Robsten is over, K.Stew will become a serial Hollywood hunk seeker cut from the same vein as, say, Jennifer Aniston? Somehow that doesn't really seem all that likely. And guys afraid of Rob? Please. Dakota Fanning could take him.

Dear Awful Truth:
Who would you say are the hottest (as in bods) TV actors/actresses under 35?
—Hot Tamale

Dear Too Many to Name:
Without saying too many? AnnaLynne McCord, Jared Padalecki, Brittany Snow, Robert Buckley, Alexander Skarsgård, Ryan Kwanten, Blake Lively, Leighton Meester, Chace Crawford, Kaley Cuoco, Milo Ventimiglia, Adam Gregory, Cory Monteith...the hot bodies go on and on, man.

Dear Awful Truth:
I just read your description of A-list vs. B-list, etc. And I just have to ask you. What does that make the Hoff?
—JDW

Dear Hasselhoff Has-Been:
Hasselhoff is pure, unadulterated, glorious, full-blown Z status, and there ain't no arguing with it.

Dear Awful Truth:
I know the Jonas Brothers have a lot to hide, and I had a friend tell me a little bit ago that (1) they are not brothers at all—it's just a front, and (2) Joe Jonas is actually Janice Dickinson and Sylvester Stallone's love child. Thoughts?
—Setzer

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Dear Ted:
What would you think about Natalie Portman playing Tanya in the upcoming Twilight movies! She is one of the female vamps from the Denali clan who wanted Edward for herself and doesn't get what all the fuss is over Bella. I know it's a long shot, but I think throwing Nat into the mix would be so good! Nothing can come between Robsten in my mind, but it sure would be fun to watch.
—Casting Temptess

Dear Portman Picking:
We'd say Nat was too high profile for this sort of gig, but the Twi flicks are the new Harry Potter franchise for A-listers to sink their teeth into. Get her agent on the phone! Unless of course Kristen Stewart's worried that Rob Pattinson's eyes might wander back to Ms. Oscar nominee?

Dear Ted:
I just saw the video of Channing Tatum stripping before he became famous. So what is the other gossip on Mr. G.I. Joe studmuffin? Blind Vice material?
—Muscle lover

Dear Tatum Teaser:
Well, Chan's got a thang for costars, he's A-OK with fairies and he and Scarlett Johansson have oodles in common. Like Scar, Chan hasn't been inducted into our Blind Vice club yet—but just you wait!

Dear Ted:
Why would you say Rob doesn't have manners based off of a couple of videos last week of Rob and Kristen trying to make a quick getaway? I am sure that wasn't a priority in those moments. And from what I have heard, Rob is a very nice guy and does have manners and treats people very well, including Kristen. And why would we want him to be like Taylor Lautner? Taylor is a typical Hollywood boy. Rob isn't, which is part of his appeal. I don't want Rob to take lessons from Taylor because that would make him boring because he would lose his originality. There are enough "Taylors" in Hollywood.
—Vaughan

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