Watch with Kristin

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Sorry for the delay in this blog. I was still sleeping from Thursday night's reunion show.

I love that the girls took the debutante approach again, as if they're not on a reality show—one whose ratings soar when weaves are ripped off. Andy Cohen was so frustrated, you could see it on his face. And Andy, please don't say "boo" ever again. Thank you.

So, I'm gathering that the lack of drama and honesty on this reunion was replaced with a series of montages. This was when we got to watch footage that we've already seen. I can never get enough of the "Sheree-down," but seriously, we needed some meat to this matter.

Instead we got ladies with lockjaw.

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Move over, Atlanta, Bravo's original leading ladies are back!

The Real Housewives of Orange County hotties return tonight, and the premiere gets so heated you'll be wondering why everyone made such a big fuss over those other two—you know, Miss "Tardy for the Party" Kim and her lifelong frenemy NeNe.

It's safe to say that season five will be more drama-filled than ever—and not just between the usual suspects. More marriages are falling apart, the newbies are clashing with the classics, and bitter feuds are boiling over.

We caught up with the O.C.'s kinda-but-not-really-housewife Gretchen Rossi last week, and she gave us the goods on what's up in season five...

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I was half-asleep during the reunion last night. It was so boring I flipped through an issue of Field and Stream for some excitement. First of all, to say fashion disaster would be a gross understatement. I don't understand what the hell was going on with the outfits and the set decor. It really was quite confusing.

Sheree, Sheree, Sheree...How could you rock Dolce & Gabbana when an entire season built up to your fashion event? Big mistake. Huge. As I said before, she likes fashion, but a businesswoman she ain't. At least Lisa was wise enough to market her wares.

Kandi wears the wild outfits and rock 'n' roll hair, but she can get away with anything because she is in the music Biz.

The best parts of the show were the flashbacks to the season's best moments. In my life, I've never loved a scene more than the Sheree party-planner smackdown. Her face literally became distorted. I could watch it for days. I love when she said she could find a pookie or two in her phone book. I can't help but love Sheree, the narcissist.

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The finale shows are always great. She by Sheree's show was the star. I loved it when Dwight told us, "Y'all don't wanna see the other side of Dwight." I'm now going to bow down to Dwight, who did shut it down. Without Dwight, Sheree would be drowning in her own compliments and narcissism, and she certainly didn't fawn over him nearly enough for his job.

The downsizing plot is interesting for Lisa. There are many stories going around about the financial states of all these women which vastly contrast with what we see. However, I'll stick to what we're being shown. Lisa saying "I wanna be wealthy" was a bit much. I like their new house. In their case, I think downsizing is a great idea.

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Sheree and Kim are hanging out? Wow, we Housewives are resilient. I must say, as Andy Cohen would put it, Kim and Sheree had some serious hair systems going on. It does look great though. The weaves and wigs are literally characters in this show, to be pulled, complimented, fought over and sold.

The whole Nene and Mel father storyline is compelling. It's nice to see her calm for a while. Normal isn't always bad. I love how Nene said that house in Athens used to be a mansion. Isn't that a mansion now?

I waited with bated breath for the episodic, narcissistic Sheree line, and this time it came like clockwork: "I made my samples to fit me because I'm the perfect model." She's the best, and I still love her. Why does she say Dwight's name with two syllables: De-wight?

Who doesn't love Kandi? Premarital counseling. Yikes. His death is tragic, so it really is difficult to discuss his six children from four mothers. She'll never get to experience that difficulty, but like any marriage, it would have been difficult. It does always go back to the money. That is the core issue here. When mama said "child support" as her word, I gasped.

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Bravo/ Andrew Eccels; Amy Sussman/Getty Images for Niche Media; Joe Kohen/Getty Images for Kodak

They're heeere!

As expected, Bravo is adding new castmembers to The Real Housewives of New York City, and today the network announced that socialite single mom Sonja Morgan and entrepreneur Jennifer Gilbert will recur throughout season three. Why the new blood? Well, for one thing, NYC Housewives superstar Bethenny Frankel is getting her own spinoff, and she's said repeatedly that she doesn't want to do both shows. The new additions ensure that Bravo has a deep bench of talent on the show even after Ms. Frankel exits.

Speaking of Ms. Frankel, what does she think of this new blood? Are the new kids friend or foe? And how's she getting along with the existing castmembers during the filming of season three? E! News just sat down with Bethenny exclusively and snagged the scoop on the "explosive" new episodes...

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Um, were you laughing to yourself or out loud when Kim said that the Titanium American Express card was because of her, not Big Papa? Exactly how many wigs do you have to sell a year to pay a $250,000 credit card bill? She would have to make $500,000 gross to afford that and nothing else.

Does she think we just fell off the infidelity turnip truck? What in God's name is Big Papa's wife saying about all this? Is Kim sleeping with her too? Are they one big, happy, blinged-out Mormon family? You couldn't write this stuff.

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Bravo is blowing up! The very busy network has just ordered another installment of their Housewives franchise, The Real Housewives of D.C., as well as picking up a second season of The Real Housewives of New Jersey.

Meanwhile, Bethenny Frankel confirms to E! News that she will be getting her own spinoff as well as appearing (for sure!) on season three of The Real Housewives of New York City.

Read on to find out what Bethenny told us about her present and future with the New York housewives (hint: they don't get along), and what to expect from her new series...

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On the heels of a huge news week for the Bravo breakout star, Bethenny Frankel is back with her take on last night's Real Housewives of Atlanta. Take it away, Bethenny...

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OK, Kim and Kandi are getting along like a house on fire. If you want a unique example of someone who had a reason to go on a reality show, the arrows point to Kandi. This will undoubtedly spark her career. She has talent which in her business is a dime a dozen. Proving it on the show gives her a leg up. Bravo, smart girl.

The NeNe and Kandi argument seems juvenile and really brings NeNe to the basement. Kandi CAN sing and she is everyone's favorite, so NeNe needs to pull it together.  

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Kim in a bikini? Good gravy. Those knockers really are flotation devices. I have to say something positive: I love and adore those bangle bracelets of hers, and at about $1,000 a piece, that must be a $30,000 arm to go with her blinged out watch and $10,000 rack. In some neighborhoods, they might dismantle her and sell off her parts.

I'm sure you all were convinced when Kim said she's be with Big Pappa, money notwithstanding. Her new favorite term (to go with her fave word: supersede) is legally married. Last I knew, Big Pappa was married and living with his wife.

We keep wondering what is wrong with Kim. What is Big Pappa's damage? I know he's Turkish; I've seen his mansion in the Atlanta outskirts. Someone come forward with the dirt.

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Gary He/BRAVO

We begin the episode with Sheree's training session. I think she is in great shape. Some people say it's masculine, but she looks great to me. Great arms. I just love how she has to preface her session by letting us know about all the celebrities the trainer works with. Who cares? Where are all of these Atlanta celebrities? Regardless, Sheree is a badass, and I just love to watch her this season.

Nene and Kandi go to check out the alter ego portraits. I love that she calls Lisa Booboo. I call my dog that, so now my boyfriend calls me that. I love the origination of nicknames. Where did boo come from?

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Ed and Lisa's clothing line: Closet Freak.

Hey, I'm all for any reality star using the opportunity to promote their business, but I tell everyone the same thing: It better be authentic, from their soul and not just something they grabbed and pulled together before the cameras start rolling.

Experienced, well-backed designers with enormous talent and reputations fail every day. Look at Christian Lacroix. I'm just skeptical that these girls are inauthentically branding something that they pulled out of thin air. I don't like the name Closet Freak unless it is for some teenybopper, trendy Von Dutch-type line...

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