The Awful Truth

Summit Entertainment

Shocker—New Moon is dominating the box office. The second Twi flick grossed $26.3 million just in midnight showings. Sorry, Twi haters, but this franchise is here to stay.

We've done enough talking on New Moon this, Twilight that, so now it's your turn.

No doubt many of you are going to check out the flick this weekend, and we want to hear your thoughts. That nasty Answer B!tch posted a semigenius review of N.M. broken down into movie ratings based on your Twilight devotion.

As you all head to the theater to check out not very much R.Pattz but more Kristen and Taylor, let us know if you think Twilight 2 lives up to its hype.

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Hate Twilight? Here's what your missing in our New Moon Rising gallery.

INFphoto.com

New Moon is going to open huge today, no doubt about it, so it's never too soon to look ahead. 

We recently chatted with producer Bill Bannerman and screenwriter Melissa Rosenberg about what fans can expect for Eclipse—the third film in The Twilight Saga, due next summer. Many reports have called it much darker, with new director David Slade (Hard Candy, 30 Days of Night), so we asked if the PG-13 audience would still be able to hang. 

Plus, we've got more updates for you on the fate of Breaking Dawn...

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ABC/Ron Tom

"Five."

—So reveals our inside Desperate Housewives source regarding the total number of deaths resulting from this season's cliffhanger plane catastrophe. We're told it's the result of two passengers on the small aircraft getting into an argument

They die, too, by the by, as do some darling, dear residents on the ground on Wisteria Lane. Gosh, think those might be Teri Hatcher and her crackhead dietician up there in that plane bitching away? Never know! And let's hope!

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See what other shows are up to in the Spoiler Stills: TV gallery.

Darlings, we were going to give you a New Moon Vice update, but for all of you who are so sick of vampires you could cry blood, we'll reward you by bringing back an oldie but yummy goodie. 

Remember Crotch Uh-Lastic, the hunky, rising male star who would hire men to come back to his Hills pad, dress up in some swim trunks and get the naughty party started?

We can't believe it's almost been two years, but Crotch has officially risen, like a hunky hero out of burning celeb-saturated waters! Mr. Uh-Lastic has solidified himself as a respected Hollywood actor, which means it's time to be even more discreet 'bout his homolicious ways...

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Jason LaVeris/Getty Images; Lisa O'Connor/ZUMApress.com; DandG

While supporting fellow rock babe Mary Weiland during her book party (Fall to Pieces) at Book Soup in West Hollywood, Dave Navarro told me he's "Team Nobody," when I asked if he was on Edward's or Jacob's bus.

"I'm an adult," sniffed Carmen Electra's tattooed and famously ablicious ex, with more derision than I have for stars like Paris Hilton who buy dogs from puppy mills. 

Jeez, who does this dude think he is, Miley Cyrus or something?

Why can't the Red Hot Chili Pepper pot share the vampire love, already? I mean, he kinda looks like one, right? 

"Yeah, I started this look," insisted the bearded demi-dude all in black and multiple tatts.

"Gosh, Dave, you're not even into True Blood?" I asked. 

Suddenly, Navarro looked like I'd said he has the most unbeatable tummy muscles in the world:

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WENN.com

Dear Ted:
So Megan Fox is trying to go a different route with her image now because "women think she's a slut"? I'm sure her negative image has nothing to do with the fact that the persona she was projecting was so obviously just a calculated ploy to titillate men, like some cheesy sorority girl who makes out with other chicks to get more attention. Now she's trying to sell herself as a homebody? Please. I can understand wanting to keep some things personal, but here's a novel idea: Shut your trap! And stop doing the tacky pictures with the tongue out.
—Bbrey

Dear Foxless:
I don't think she's going as far as being a homebody, but the Fox-er has been less of a trotter lately, keeping more to herself...and guess what...that's OK! We still love her and want to see what media persona she's going to push on us next. Of course, we fully reserve the right to barf all over it, if we so choose.

Dear Ted:
Now I am convinced you have something against Gerard Butler! You never answer any questions regarding him. Are you jealous of him? I just wanted to know if he has been the subject of any B.V.'s since you last absolved him of any sins. November is a long ways from July! Has he any women(an)? Rumors? And don't say: Jen Maniston, Jess or Lindsay, 'cause we know those are all jokes. Anyone real?
—Deanna

Dear No Hatin':
G.B. is not the type to have a steady gal by his side. He wants to settle down about as much as John Mayer does. And please, why would I be jealous of him? He can't even pick up girls, and I don't want to. 

Dear Ted:
Ted, so are Taryn and Robert Pattinson dating on the side, 'cause she made a comment she has seen him more than her family? Which I am hoping is not very much, as you do love your Robsten.
—Arabella

Dear Love Affair:
Don't worry, Taryn and Rob's relaysh is same as with me and R.Pattz, i.e., strictly platonic. Damn. Still, we're both Team Robsten, even if we're both equally insulted Robert didn't as us to take off our clothes. 

Dear Ted:
What is the dirt on Hayden Panettiere? Or is she really as good as she'd like us to believe?
—Luv 

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Nino Munoz; Maxim Magazine

"I mean, a lot of it has to do with what's fun and exciting. But I think I have the advantage of being a chameleon. I want to play every and any role—I don't want to be stuck in one place. It's important to reach out to every demographic." 

—New Moon's Ashley Greene, when we asked her how she picks and chooses what press to do. Like her Maxim cover, for example, rather than other teen-centric mags. Rob, Kristen and Taylor probably don't get that much of a choice since the entire movies focus around them, but it's clear Ash wants to be seen as not just a franchised chick. Don't ya think? 

Better question: Is it working?

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Check out the New Moon Mag Covers gallery to see more with the whole cast!

New Moon hits theaters at midnight, which is why we've made this week nonstop Twilight (next week for you haters we'll try and just stop, promise). As Twilight fever hits, I sink my teeth into the top truths and lies about the slurp-a-sexy New Moon cast.

You'll never guess how it ends...

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Head on over to our Truth, Lies, & Ted archive for more dirt.

Twilight's Nikki Reed sat down with Rachael Ray to promote New Moon, and that dubious chef and fake nicey-type got Nikki to spill some deets about her love life.

Relax, Team Kristen, Reed had nothing to say on Robert Pattinson.

It was all about her current beau, Paris Latsis, and how her new lovah has made her a better person and made her quit her nasty habits...

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Jon Didier/AMPAS; Jean-Paul Aussenard/Getty Images

"I think Megan Fox was actually touted once. Which is ridiculous! I don't know how that happened. That poor girl is so saturated [in the media] with sex."

—Our new New Moon crush Charlie Bewley, when we asked him if he pays attention to all of the hookup rumors surrounding the Twi cast

Jeez, no idea where the Fox rumor could have gotten started! One of our Vancouver spies still swears something happened between Robert Pattinson and foxy Fox, but who really knows?

As for which girl Mr. Bewley had his eye on? Seems too many of the female leads were already swooped up...

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Albert Michael/startraksphoto.com

Dear Ted:
Who does Miley Cyrus think she is these days? First, claiming she's never heard a Jay-Z song and that she doesn't listen to pop music? And now, I've read reports that she is dissing the Twilight series. Based on the quotes it seems like she is going out of her way to alienate her own fan base. What's her deal, and will her fans continue to be loyal if she keeps it up?
—C

Dear Mouthy Miley:
Please, this letter is exactly what she wants! Since not everyone is focusing on all Miley all the time, she needs to stir up some trouble. Leave those kinda comments to Megan Fox; Miles, she does it way better.

Dear Ted:
I was just looking through People's Sexiest Man issue. How many of the drool-worthy guys pictured in that issue are something other than hetero? Adam Lambert is one, so two or three? Four? More than five? Or would it be easier and less litigious for me to ask you which ones are straight as an arrow?
—Sebastiadams

Dear Yummy Edition:
People's (Out) Gayest Men Alive just wouldn't really sell, now would it?

Dear Ted:
What's the deal with Peter Facinelli and Kellan Lutz? Are they just friends or do they have some hidden secrets? Any goss to share on them?
—Kym

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Doggie Aficionado

Hey, Margo and Charlie Casablanca reporting.

While every stupid human out there is so busy bitch-fighting over who has the better abs—Robert Pattinson or Taylor Lautner—nobody's really seeing why their New Moon costar Kellan Lutz beats them all! Now, not only does Kellan have rock-hard abs, biceps, thighs and just about every other attribute a healthy homo erectus could want, he's also got the best heart, paws down.

Kel-babe, as our stupidly Twi-hard dad would say, doesn't even pay attention to all that gooey AnnaLynne McCord and love crap said about him. Instead, he uses his time in the media to talk about how important it is to rescue chicks like us.

Take Lutz's appearance on Ellen, where he not only talked about how fans hit on him while he was nude...

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